How childhood trauma changes adult relationships? As children, we have an almost god-like sense of awe, love and respect for our parents. We see them as omnipotent beings, the sole reason for our survival and existence — but when those feelings extend past childhood we often forget to extend that same love and respect to ourselves. In order to find true happiness, we have to learn to write a new narrative for ourselves. No matter what happened in your past, or what is happening in this current moment, it’s all moot if you can’t love yourself for who and what you are. In order to find happiness, you have to find a way to love yourself — the good and the bad — and you have to find a way to forgive yourself for the missteps and mistakes that led you to where you are today.
Love is addictive and humans can’t get enough! The hormones your brain releases when you experience love lead to euphoria and other positive feelings, leaving you wanting more. A great way to experience these feelings of love is by receiving or gifting flowers. We tend to think love occurs solely between romantic partners, but this isn’t true. Humans can experience eight types of love in various relationships, such as with romantic partners, friends, family and even strangers on the street. Understand the type of love you feel (and the catalyst for it) with our descriptions below.
Set boundaries for your child. Setting rules—and consistently following through with consequences if they are broken—is an important aspect of building trust between you and your child. Talk to your child about the reasons behind rules so they know why rules exist and what you consider proper behavior. Your child might test those limits, but if you are consistent with logical consequences, and remind them about the reasons behind the rule, they might think twice about breaking that rule the next time.
According to psychologists, there are five types of love styles. First, the pleaser, who often grows up in a household with an overly protective or angry and critical parent. Second, the victim, who often grows up in a chaotic home with angry or violent parents and tries to be compliant in order to fly under the radar. Third, the controller, who grows up in a home where there wasn’t a lot of protection so s/he has learned to toughen up and take care of themselves. Fourth, the vacillator, who grows up with an unpredictable parent and develop a fear of abandonment. And fifth, the avoider, who grows up in a less affectionate home that values independence and self-sufficiency. See more info on click here for childhood memories affecting relationship.
There are many associated feelings that accompany trauma such as guilt, shame, anxiety, sadness, and more. Every child handles trauma differently, not one person or incident is the same. Children who were once social and outgoing may suddenly not want to play with other children or speak to adults. Another child may appear “clingy” and seek validation from the adults around them to feel more secure. Feeling’s associated with trauma often grow and in turn affect relationships as they progress into adulthood. As previously discussed, our childhood experiences majorly influence our actions and relationships as adults. There are numerous coping mechanisms associated with trauma that alienated the individual from other people in their lives. If an individual experienced abuse, they may be sensitive and fearful that someone may act out in rage – just as they experienced as a child. If an individual witnessed their parents fighting, arguing and in the process of a “messy” divorce, it may affect their ability to have a healthy relationship with a loved one.
