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Online dating tips: One of the most important tips for online dating is knowing how to create a good profile. It’s important to have a profile that illustrates your positive qualities without seeming like you’re showing off. On your EliteSingles profile, for example, the first question asks you to describe yourself, followed by what your potential partner should know about you. These answers can instantly attract someone to your profile, but avoidable mistakes can easily deter potential matches, so it’s important to get it right!
I should make my messages personal, advises Hoffman: “Comment on something in his profile and follow with a question.” Dutifully, I tell one bespectacled prospect, “I like melty ice cream, too. What’s your favorite flavor?” I have some interesting chats, but nothing leads anywhere. After a lengthy back-and-forth with a cute guy who asks why I’m still single (beats me!), I try a Hoffman move, writing, “That’s a story better told over a drink.” He suggests… chicken fingers. As in fast food? Is this a sex thing I don’t know about?
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“When choosing a profile photo, look for a picture in which you have a genuine — not forced — smile and a slight tilt of the head. Research has found that both of these features are related to positive first impressions. Also, if you’re planning to include a group photo on your profile, go for pictures where you’re in the middle and everyone looks like they’re having a good time. After all, you want to give the impression that you’re someone people like to be around.” —Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D., research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and author of the “Sex and Psychology” blog.
Look closely for signs of boastfulness, snideness or bitterness. Also, insincerity: the person who claims over and over again to “absolutely love” his or her life just the way it is, to be “completely and totally” satisfied with everything in it. These people claim to have joined said dating site on a lark (“my friend suggested it and I figured why not?”). These behaviors suggest this person might have trouble being honest about his or her vulnerability or true motives. Attention to tone when you read profiles will help you to ferret some of those qualities no one admits to (we often don’t even know we have them, sadly).
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